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Black Friday turns to pandemonium in remote community

Black Friday turned to pandemonium on the Sandy Lake First Nation in northern Ontario as at least three Kokums shuffled into the local Northern Shop to take advantage of rock-bottom prices only available that day.

“$12.99 for a bag of frozen mixed vegetables, that’s a bit cheaper than usual,” said Vera Kakegamic, 76.

“That’s a deal. I mean, I guess.”

Store manager Neal Johnson said additional staff, a guy named Bob, had to be flown in to assist with the annual Black Friday sale.

“This is pandemonium,” Johnson said, wiping sweat from his brow as he rang in seven items at a register. “I mean I love it but I’ll be glad when this is over.”

A representative from Northwest Industries, which owns the Northern Shop chain, said the company was disappointed they couldn’t offer even more deals.

“But it’s just sooooo expensive to fly stuff up to these communities,” the rep said, as sad violin music played from her computer. “You know, planes and stuff.”

The representative added that record profits enjoyed by the company over the past few years were purely a coincidence.