Trudeau sends Valentine cards to all 1.4-million Indigenous people

February 14, 2018

Every one of the 1.4-million Indigenous people in the country woke up to find a Valentine’s Day card from Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on Wednesday.

The cards, which appear to be personally signed by the Prime Minister, bear messages like Be My Indigenous Valentine, I’ll Always be Trudeau to You and No Relationship is More Important to Me than the One Between You and Me.

“This is a difficult time so it’s just a little something to say thank you to Indigenous Peoples for being Indigenous Peoples,” a sheepish Trudeau told reporters.

“Also, I’m kind of hoping this gets me out of the dog house with that whole segment of the population.”

Trudeau sent gifts to a gleeful National Chief Perry Bellegarde as well, who woke up to find 151 long-stem roses and a memorandum of understanding that the two are BFFs.

Meanwhile, Ministers Jane Philpott and Carolyn Bennett issued a press statement that their Valentine gifts to Indigenous communities would arrive sometime after 2019.