The government of Canada is launching a legal battle to have a natural gas pipeline given the same legal status as human beings.
While rivers and mountain ranges have been granted similar rights around the globe, if successful, this would mark an historic first for artificial objects.
“This is just the first step,” said government lawyer Whitney Sada. “If we keep pushing, maybe this pipeline can even argue that it has a traditional homeland.”
First Nations leaders don’t sound surprised by the announcement.
“The f***ing things already seem to have more rights that us anyway,” said Chief Grant Seymour. “Might as well make it official.”
A spokesperson from the federal department of Crown-Indigenous Relations said that they are watching the case closely and are willing to focus all reconciliation efforts towards the pipeline should the court rule in the government’s favour.
