Human sacrifice is necessary if Canadians ever want to do things like wait in long lines for Tim Horton’s or crowd into tiny vape shops again, the nation’s assholes announced on Tuesday.
“Preferably some old, not-rich people, and not ones I’m related to,” said Chad Stronzo, lead spokesdouche for The Canadian Association of Huge Assholes.
“It doesn’t even have to be a lot of people I don’t know, just enough to get the economy going.”
The nation’s assholes also questioned why ‘scientifickers’ are even searching for a vaccine when their buddy Trev told them that he saw a Youtube video that said all they need to do to stop the virus is take down all those 5G towers.