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Indigenous people still amazed armed white rioters SOMEHOW not shot by police

A week after angry white men armed with assault rifles stormed Michigan’s state capital, Indigenous people are still shocked that SOMEHOW none of them were shot by police.

“They’re carrying rifles and wearing masks and yelling around but SOMEHOW police haven’t shot them,” said Erin Maiingan, a member of the Bad Throat First Nation in Manitoba.

“Police must have at least hosed them down with freezing water, or used tear gas or rubber bullets like they did to unarmed Indigenous folk at Standing Rock, right? Nope. Nope, looks like police they just stood there. Huh. Wonder why?”

Spokespersons for unions representing police forces in both Canada and the United States said that the reason angry white men carrying assault rifles, some displaying confederate flags, weren’t shot is just one of life’s great mysteries and that we’ll probably never, ever know.