Walking Eagle News: Weekend Report
Here’s some of the hard-hitting stories Walking Eagle News is keeping an eye on, but is too lazy to write a full article about: ‘How is THAT racist?’ nation’s whites…
‘Chickadee-dee-dee-deee,’ chickadee tells reporters
During a closely watched news conference on Friday morning, a black-capped chickadee laid bare what many have long suspected. “‘Chickadee-dee-dee-deee,” the chickadee said, speaking to reporters from the branch of…
Walking Eagle News: News Brief
Here’s some of the stories Walking Eagle News is keeping an eye on, but is too lazy to write a full article about: Bare minimum called ‘meaningful path to reconciliation’…
Entire Manitoba government named ‘junior police constables’ for whole day
The entire provincial government of Manitoba have been given little badges, and named ‘junior police constables’ for the day. All 57 members of the province’s legislative assembly lined up proudly…
Young uncle ceremoniously buys first Native Pride cap
In a rite of passage as old as the land itself, a young uncle from the Choochoway First Nation has purchased their first Native Pride cap. Officials said that Herman…
Online game of ‘I’m less colonized than you’ between friends enters eighth year
A game of ‘I’m less colonized than you’ between two friends from different First Nations communities has entered its eighth year. The game involves each player finding ways to prove…
Ontario school district pulls Indigenous author’s book for being too Indigenous
An Ontario school district has pulled a Indigenous author’s book from library shelves and warned teachers not to use it because it’s simply too Indigenous. School district officials said the…
Walking Eagle News News Brief
Here’s a summary of some of the stories Walking Eagle News is keeping a weary eye on: ‘Oh, what are they complaining about now?’ asks man who tried to overthrow…
Vatican fears Pope may need to pawn necklace or hat or something if Indigenous people seek reparations
Officials at the Vatican are preparing for the worst as delegations of First Nations, Inuit and Métis people descend on Rome for meetings with Pope Francis. Although most Indigenous leaders…
Red-tailed hawk sick of eagles getting credit for its haunting cries
A prominent member of the red-tailed hawk community says they’re tired of eagles getting all the credit for the haunting cries that are heard in films, television shows or whenever…