You better not have lost those mitts, nation’s kokum’s declare
You better not have lost those mitts you had, the nation’s kokums announced at a press conference on Sunday. The stark warning came after you were spotted walking towards the…
Entire Manitoba government named ‘junior police constables’ for whole day
The entire provincial government of Manitoba have been given little badges, and named ‘junior police constables’ for the day. All 57 members of the province’s legislative assembly lined up proudly…
Store employee just gonna go ahead and straighten items on shelf close to where Indigenous person shopping
A Winnipeg, Man. store employee is just gonna ahead and straighten some items on a shelf near where an Indigenous person is shopping. “Yeah, no, it’s just an incredible coincidence…
Parliament Hill chosen as site of Canada’s repository for used nuclear fuel
The land deep underneath Canada’s Parliament buildings will soon be home to the country’s first storage facility for nuclear waste. The Nuclear Waste Management Organization (NWMO) made the announcement on…
Ulali releases album of Slayer covers
Indigenous a capella group Ulali is releasing a collection of songs originally composed by thrash metal band Slayer. Reign in Corn, Beans, Squash & Metal is an album that features…
Young uncle ceremoniously buys first Native Pride cap
In a rite of passage as old as the land itself, a young uncle from the Choochoway First Nation has purchased their first Native Pride cap. Officials said that Herman…
Online game of ‘I’m less colonized than you’ between friends enters eighth year
A game of ‘I’m less colonized than you’ between two friends from different First Nations communities has entered its eighth year. The game involves each player finding ways to prove…
RCMP say investigators playing ‘fun game of hide and seek’ with people who witnessed man drive truck into crowd of Indigenous people
RCMP in Mission, BC. say a seemingly purposely stalled investigation into a man who drove a truck through a crowd of Indigenous people on a residential schools memorial march has…
Canadian media seek power to acquit white people accused of crimes against Indigenous people
A consortium of legacy media outlets is lobbying the federal government to grant them the power to intervene in court cases, and acquit white people charged with crimes against Indigenous…
Scores of white Canadians injured while smugly patting own backs
Thousands of Canadians were hospitalized on Wednesday after straining themselves while smugly patting themselves on the back. The injuries occurred just hours after an atrocity occurred in another country. “This…