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Hipster, millennial Chiefs ruining Assembly of First Nations, insiders say

There are growing complaints that hipster, millennial Chiefs are having a negative effect on the Assembly of First Nations.

“They come to meetings with their skinny jeans, organic, single-source headdresses and their expensive coffees, it’s ridiculous,” said Chief Adam Billings, from the Lone Pine First Nation in eastern Manitoba.

“This one Chief, who I won’t name, demanded avocado for his bannock at a feast. Avocado!”

Many of the Chiefs who are complaining maintain its not an issue of ageism but rather aesthetics.

“How are we supposed to be taken seriously when we’re demanding our treaties be honoured while looking like we’re coming straight from Coachella?” asked an incredulous Grand Chief Arlen Dumas.

“And what the hell is an artisanal treaty right anyway?”

It’s unclear exactly how many of the organization’s approximately 633 Chiefs are born in or after the 1980s but political insiders have observed an increasing number of their ranks wearing expensive faux-thrift store clothing or demanding that meeting notes be written on chalk-boards.

“We’re damned lucky our people can’t grow facial hair or these meetings would be overrun with handlebar mustaches and painstakingly sculpted beards,” said Regional Chief Craig Makinaw.

A spokesperson for the AFN said the issue of millennial Chiefs would be discussed at the organization’s annual general meeting this coming December, which despite repeated requests from some would not be held in Toronto’s Kensington Market.