Fire at turkey feather headdress plant devastates fake First Nations community

December 7, 2017

The head of Quebec’s largest not-actual Indigenous group said her people are left devastated after an early morning fire razed a turkey feather headdress factory in the Eastern Townships.

“We have nowhere to get our turkey feather headdresses now,” said a teary-eyed Lisa Brenouf, who calls herself chief of the Mikinak—a group almost certainly universally panned as a fake First Nation by real Indigenous groups.

Brenouf, who claims First Nations heritage because her great-great grandfather once shook hands with an Algonquin guide or some such bull—-t, said the garish turkey feather headdresses were a crucial part of her people’s culture.

“How are we supposed to be seen as First Nations when we appear in public now?” she asked.

Several members of the Mikinak group wandered silently through the charred remnants of the factory, trying to salvage materials to perhaps make their own sad little headdresses.

“It’s not the same,” said Jean Aylmer, who was wearing a crude headdress fashioned from singed turkey feathers and some masking tape colored with crayon.

“It’s just not the same.”

However, Brenouf said the Mikinak are fortunate that it was only the headdress factory that burned and not the printing office where the group manufactures its fraudulent ‘status cards.’