BREAKING NEWS: Magnitude 9.8 reconciliation quake strikes Canada

October 11, 2018

A magnitude 9.8 reconciliation quake has struck Canada, moments after the Supreme Court ruled Ottawa has no duty to consult with Indigenous people before drafting laws.

Preliminary reports indicate that scores of reconciliation efforts have crumbled. Assembly of First Nations National Chief Perry Bellegarde and several Indigenous cabinet members have been evacuated and are in a holding pattern, officials said.

Crown-Indigenous Relations Minister Carolyn Bennett, meanwhile, has been spotted running in circles in her office.

Hundreds of thousands of Indigenous people are injured, except for some Indigenous Liberals who told reporters that at least this government sits down with them.