Indigenous Services upset no one thrown parade for them yet

December 5, 2019

Officials from Indigenous Services say they’re upset that none of the communities they do the bare minimum for have thrown them a parade yet.

“So our country underfunds them for decades, holds them back when they try to do more than just survive, then when we decide to start throwing them a few bones—not a lot, mind you, no one is writing blank cheques here—they don’t even have the decency to throw us a parade?” said a department spokesperson. 

“Doesn’t even have to be, like, a big parade. You know what, I’m honestly not even sure why we bother.”

The department also said that it thought for sure fighting a move to compensate First Nations children harmed by its chronic underfunding would have garnered at least a small amount of applause.