You better not have lost those mitts, nation’s kokum’s declare
You better not have lost those mitts you had, the nation’s kokums announced at a press conference on Sunday. The stark warning came after you were spotted walking towards the…
Young uncle ceremoniously buys first Native Pride cap
In a rite of passage as old as the land itself, a young uncle from the Choochoway First Nation has purchased their first Native Pride cap. Officials said that Herman…
As First Nations go under quarantine, bored bureaucrats sign MOUs with household items, pets
With dozens of First Nations communities under lockdown because of the global Covid-19 pandemic, increasingly bored federal bureaucrats are signing memoranda-of-understanding with household items and even family pets. “I signed…
Scores of angry Canadians explode after being told they can’t get cheap smokes on reserves amid Covid-19 pandemic
Hundreds of angry Canadians have spontaneously combusted after learning they’re no longer allowed to go on reserves and purchase discount cigarettes or fuel because of the global Covid-19 pandemic. “You…
First Nations beard-growing competition ends in disappointment
A social media beard-growing competition that pitted First Nations communities against each other has ended in bitter disappointment. “Yeah, we thought we’d have a little fun doing something during the…
Beading session turns deadly – just real deadly
A beading session in a Moose Hill First Nation, Manitoba home has turned deadly. But the good kind of deadly, not the other kind, witnesses say. “My cousin Sarah and…
Report finds 0% of cookie tins in Indigenous homes contain actual cookies
Those round cookie tins found in many Indigenous homes are 0% likely to contain cookies and 97% likely to contain sewing or beading supplies. That’s according to the results of…
Three people line up for Boxing Day blowout in remote First Nations community
Three people braved frigid temperatures on the Crow River First Nation in northern Manitoba, some for as long as seven minutes, to get first grabs at the Nothern Shop’s Boxing…
Dozens left blessed after school smudging on Sask. First Nation
Officials at a First Nations school in central Saskatchewan confirm that dozens have been blessed after a community Elder entered the building and began smudging students and staff. The smudging…
Tens of thousands of Indigenous Peoples shake heads, sigh
Tens of thousands of Indigenous Peoples shook their heads and sighed on Friday, in both urban and rural areas across the country. “Sigh,” sighed Mary Sinclair, an Anishinaabe woman from…