‘Damning’ new report suggests you think you’re better than us
The results of a groundbreaking new study released on Wednesday suggest that you think you think you’re better than us or something. The report names tens of thousands of individuals…
Canadian businesses offer ‘Premium’ racial profiling to select Indigenous shoppers
Faced with the financial fallout of a never-ending global pandemic, but still wanting to keep an eye on brown customers, some Canadian businesses are preparing to offer ‘Premium’ racial profiling…
Retail worker dies after not being allowed to racially profile Indigenous customers
A retail worker has died after being told they shouldn’t racially profile Indigenous shoppers. “We received a lot of negative messages on social media from Indigenous shoppers who said they…
Nation’s assholes still not sure it was racism
Thousands of assholes from across the county are speaking out against the outcry over several highly-publicized incidents of horrific racism. Though the existence of systemic racism has been proven multiple…
Pipeline stalled after First Nations erect statues of Canada’s first PM in path
Construction on a multi-million dollar pipeline project has screeched to a halt after a tiny First Nations community placed dozens of statues of Canada’s first Prime Minister Sir John A.…
Shit’s fucked up: report
The results of a groundbreaking new report released on Wednesday suggest that shit’s fucked up. “What we take from the data is that shit’s fucked up,” said lead author Solomon…
Provincial leaders outraged militarized American police don’t do land acknowledgement before brutalizing people
Canada’s premiers are speaking out against the countless images of heavily-armed American police attacking demonstrators, especially since none of the forces uttered land acknowledgements beforehand. Land acknowledgements are statements made…
‘Ok, we’re even now’ white people say after businesses burned, looted in Minneapolis
White people say centuries of injustice have been wiped away after several businesses were burned or looted in Minneapolis. “It really pains me to even have to say this because…
APTN to debut ‘Jesse-only’ episodes of The Beachcombers
Uber fans of The Beachcombers are in for a unique treat in 2020; APTN announced that it is editing episodes of the iconic TV series to include only scenes with…
Indigenous people still amazed armed white rioters SOMEHOW not shot by police
A week after angry white men armed with assault rifles stormed Michigan’s state capital, Indigenous people are still shocked that SOMEHOW none of them were shot by police. “They’re carrying…