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First Nations man wakes up white after Indian Status card expires

Allan Amisk still can’t believe it.

“Like, how do you go from brown to white overnight? No one told me this could happen.”

It turns out Amisk is just one of many facing this predicament: Status Indians who, once their Status cards expire, find they are transformed into white people.

“Well, you see, no one here thought Indians would last, so the department thought it made sense to reflect that on the cards,” said Indigenous Affairs spokesperson Scott Duncan by email.

“Obviously, this has caused some concern among the ex-Indian—er, ex-Status—community, and we will address it with the typical speed and dedication that we apply to all urgent needs of First Nations people.”

For now, Amisk is trying to make the best of things: “It’s nice to go to stores and not be followed, and I haven’t been pulled over once by the police since going non-Status.”

“I guess in that way it really is okay to be white.”

Meanwhile, experts say the white-overnight phenomenon is unrelated to the concurrent wave of “Mikinakia syndrome,” where non-Indigenous people suddenly claim to be First Nations, a condition most often characterized by fits of delirium.