Ontario gov’t announces plans for Sir John A. MacDonald theme park
Just days after members of his cabinet offered to provide a new home for a statue of Canada’s first Prime Minister taken down in Victoria, Ontario Premier Doug Ford outlined…
‘We warned you’: After statue removed, millions unable to remember name of Canada’s 1st Prime Minister
Millions of Canadians find themselves suddenly unable to remember the name of Canada’s first Prime Minister, after a statue of Sir John A. MacDonald was taken down. “We warned you,”…
Thousands of Canadians spontaneously combust after statue of John A. McDonald taken down in BC
Thousands of people from all parts of Canada spontaneously combusted on Saturday, moments after a statue of Sir John A. McDonald was taken down in Victoria, BC. “My husband was…
Conspiracy theories of self-proclaimed ‘Indigenous Alex Jones’ turn out to all be true
An Indigenous woman hoping to cash in on the popularity of controversial media personalities like Alex Jones is throwing in the towel because every single one of her conspiracy theories…
Trudeau marks World Indigenous People’s Day by saying something about ‘meaningful reconciliation’
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau marked the International Day of the World’s Indigenous Peoples by saying something about ‘meaningful reconciliation.’ “Something something something meaningful reconciliation,” Trudeau said. “Something something something Indigenous…
Rescued Manitoba pups to receive equitable funding, have all-season road, water treatment plant constructed
A litter of pups rescued from Northern Manitoba are being fast-tracked for equitable health and education funding, the federal government announced on Tuesday. “These pups demand only the best our…
Come and get your love, new report suggests
A highly anticipated new report from the Redbone Institute released on Monday suggests that you need to come and get your love. “Our data tell us that nothin’ the matter…
Powwow MCs warn they’re running out of jokes
Powwow MCs are facing a shortage of jokes that could lead to a complete extinction within a decade. A team of powwow MCs from across North America made the stark…
Thousands of selfie-seekers trespassing on Ont. sunflower farm not arrested, shot
It’s being called the Miracle in Hamilton: thousands of selfie-seekers trespassing and trampling crops on an Ontario sunflower farm have somehow not been arrested or shot by terrified land-owners. “Normally,…
Team of scientists announce that CBC Saskatchewan exists in bizarre alternate universe where First Nations are villainous land barons
A team of scientists have announced that the Saskatchewan bureaus of CBC News exist in a bizarre alternate universe where First Nations are greedy land barons, bent on exploiting poor,…